Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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