addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize