We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
