So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Come on in and take your pants off
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