I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
