Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
