I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize