Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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