oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
