I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize