I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
