Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
