Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
