i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
