so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
