i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
