I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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