She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize