My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
