OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
