Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
