they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
