I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
