remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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