WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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