I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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