Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
