My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
