My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
