I love black thongs
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
