Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Stogeybytheway hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.

Fav 9 1296 3380
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?

Fav 18 8395 2644
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.

Fav 4 4309 1084
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?

Fav 10 2616 1049
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?

Fav 18 2502 875
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.

Fav 5 1307 889
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.

Fav 2 652 526
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(270): View more from Kentucky

Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.

Fav 3 27 43
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(226): View more from Ontario

I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..

Fav 0 22 34
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT