So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
