I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
