Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
