apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
