So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
