The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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