Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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