Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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