you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Pants are for mortals
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
