Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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