Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize