Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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