You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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