pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize