How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
