So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
