home. puking in laundry basket.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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