Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
