I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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