Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Everyone says I win the strip club
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
