I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
