anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
