Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
