i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
