she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
