my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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