We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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