That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
