WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
