why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
