once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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