How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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