Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
