All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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