I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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