I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
