walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
