Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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