Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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