The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
