the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
