Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
