Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
this hospital has no fireball
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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