I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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