I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
