He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
