Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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