at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
