I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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