You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
birth control should be required to get into college
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
